Five Times Clark Peeped With His X-Ray Vision

1.

He couldn’t control the damned x-ray vision, and it was causing problems. Sometimes it flickered back and forth between normal, x-ray, and see-through, so fast that he had to stop to get his bearings to avoid stumbling into things and falling down.

“Maybe you should wait in the car, son,” Jonathan Kent said, tapping him soundly on the shoulder. Suddenly all the skin was gone from his dad’s face, and Clark could see every muscle and tendon in sharp detail. He shivered and nodded in agreement, carefully making his way out of the grocery and out to the truck.

“That your truck, Mr. Kent?” Sheriff Adams said, though Clark knew she was perfectly aware of whose truck it was.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“It’s parked illegally. You’ll need to move it away from the fire hydrant another ten feet.”

“I don’t have the keys—oh, God.”

Clark’s eyes widened as suddenly all of Sheriff Adam’s clothes faded away. She stood before him in all her middle-aged naked glory. He feared, for a moment, he would hurl.

She followed his eyes down to her chest, and stood a little straighter.

“Mr. Kent, I know what you’re doing.”

“You do?” he said in alarm.

“Ogling my chest,” she said in stern disapproval. “Shame on you, young man. I’d expect better from Jonathan and Martha Kent’s boy.”

If you only knew how much I can see, Clark thought, and looked away, smacking his forehead, hoping that would do something to correct his vision.

“Just move the truck, Mr. Kent,” she said, and turned to leave.

When he opened his eyes, nothing had changed. Her bottom bounced happily with each step she took away. In fact, everybody on the street was naked.

“Oh God,” Clark prayed. “Please fix me.”

Unfortunately, his vision didn’t do a thing to change.

2.

“Lois, please, let's get out of here,” Clark begged. He didn’t want to admit it, but it was getting really hard not to look. Something else was getting really hard, too, no matter how much he didn’t want it too. It wasn’t as though it was Lois’s fault she looked naked. They were in a nest of what was most likely alien parasites, and they were doing things to his vision, so that he couldn't control his x-ray vision.

Lois had seething anger in her voice as she hiked her shirt up to expose the skin of her back, though it looked like she wasn't actually holding anything up, since he couldn't see her shirt. “Look at it, Clark.”

“No,” he whined. “I don’t want to.”

“LOOK!”

“I won’t!”

“Quit being a baby and LOOK at it!”

Clark looked at the bare skin of her back, trying to will his eyes not to stray lower. If Lois saw him having a typical male reaction (though she wouldn't know why he was having that reaction, since she didn't know about his x-ray vision abilities), he'd never live it down. She wouldn't let him since she got such a kick out of teasing him and making him uncomfortable. “Okay, I’m looking.”

“Is it bad?”

“No.”

“You’re not looking, are you?”

“I’m looking. It’s pretty bad. It’s glowing and pulsing.”

Lois sighed. “Reach in and get it.”

“I’m not putting my fingers in there, Lois,” Clark said with finality. “I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“You have to, Clark! It might be some alien parasite and I don’t want it taking control of my body and making me do things I’ll regret later.”

“I don’t think its an alien parasite.”

“Right, because you’re a fucking alien parasite expert, right?”

“Fine,” Clark said. “Brace yourself, this is gonna hurt.”

“Be gentle with me, Clark,” Lois said, imitating a wispy, cliché romance novel heroine. “Just do it!”

Clark looked at the parasite and took the tail, which was still protruding from her back, and pulled. Lois screamed in pain as it slid out with a disgusting wet, squelching sound. Blood poured, and he threw the thing to the dirt, where the light it pulsed with faded, and then blinked out.

Without thinking, Lois turned to face Clark. “Thanks Smallville.”

But the blood was gone from Clark’s head as he stared at Lois’s naked body. God, she was hot.

“Right,” Lois said, shaking her head at his lameness. “Gimme your coat, now. I need to get to the hospital and make sure that thing didn't lay eggs or something.”

3.

“I can’t believe it!” Chloe gushed. “Brangelina, right there, twenty feet away!”

Clark had snuck Chloe into the crowd at the premiere for Angelina Jolie’s latest movie as a birthday present. Now they were watching the stars arrive, and Chloe had never looked happier. He loved putting a smile like that on her face.

Angelina…man, she was lovely in real life. She had a gazillion-watt smile, and he felt his chest swell with longing. Something else wanted to swell too, but he clamped down on that. Brad Pitt was a lucky man.

You’ll never have another chance like this, Clark said to himself.

But it’s wrong.

Your only chance, take it!

She’d understand if she knew what I could do. She may even let me…

Clark focused his eyes, and Angelina’s dress faded so that he could see just a hint of her body beneath it. Oh, man, she was so hot. He focused a little harder, and the dress was completely gone. She was facing him, and her ample bosom was jiggling beautifully.

He felt his cheeks heat. They were facing him, and jiggling.

He looked up, into her beautiful green eyes. She was laughing and looking right at him.

Then she winked.

Angelina Jolie had caught him staring and actually winked at him. He smiled back and she passed by, her eyes lingering on him.

“You lucky son of a gun,” Chloe said excitedly. “She’s flirting with you, Clark! She’s giving you a ‘If I didn’t have a boyfriend, you’d be my boytoy’ look!”

But then Angelina was past him, and moving into the theater. Clark took Chloe home then, floating on cloud nine the entire way.

4.

Chloe was wearing a bikini and looking pretty damn fine. He sat at the kitchen counter, looking at the wet material clinging to her every curve. Lionel Luthor was over for tea to discuss his mother’s campaign, and sat beside him, watching Clark watch Chloe.

“It’s impolite to stare,” Lionel said quietly, while Chloe laughed at something Martha said.

“Right,” Clark said, “like you’re not looking too.”

“I’m dignified, I’m not dead,” Lionel said, admiring Chloe’s bottom. Clark tried not to let it annoy him when Lionel said, “If I could do what you do…”

Lionel tapped at his eyes, indicating his x-ray vision.

“I don’t violate people’s privacy like that,” Clark said.

Lionel cocked his head to the side, giving Clark a ‘yeah, sure you don’t’, look.

“Often,” Clark amended. Lionel smiled.

Feeling bold, thinking a quick peep wouldn’t do any harm, Clark focused on Chloe. The bathing suit faded to nothing, and she stood before him in all her naked glory. She was such a sight to behold…

But then she moved suddenly away, and his mother stood naked before him too.

“Ah, my eyes!” Clark screamed, slapping his hands to his face as though he were a normal human and someone had thrown acid into his eyes. Lionel chuckled while both Chloe and Martha fussed over him. Clark couldn’t tell them what he’d been doing, his mother would kill him, so he made up an excuse that he’d been having trouble with his heat vision lately but he was okay. He definitely couldn’t look at Martha as she moved away.

Lionel had a disgustingly smug look on his face when Martha and Chloe moved out of earshot.

“That’s what you get for being a Peeping Tom.”

5.

“Bend over…bend over…come on, baby…bend over…”

Clark peered through the bathroom door in Lois and Chloe’s apartment above the Talon. Chloe had invited him over for pizza and a movie and some quality bonding time, but when he’d arrived he found her covered in mud and drenched to the core. She’d fallen, she said, while reporting on a story about some kind of strange meteor-infused fungus that was growing on anything metal on a bunch of farms in Smallville. The weirdness was getting closer to the Kent farm, so Chloe had jumped on the story, hoping to solve the problem before it got too close to Clark and Kara. She’d stepped into the shower, and he’d sat on the couch to wait for her, when his eyes had strayed to the door. He’d figured it wouldn’t hurt to take a peek…

But the peek had turned into a look, and the look into a stare, and now he was totally perving on Chloe. She was letting the water run over her skin, enjoying the steamy heat of it. He wished he had telekinetic abilities. He’d knock the soap off the rack so she’d have to bend over and—

The soap fell.

Clark watched Chloe bend over to pick it up, and she moved as though in slow motion. He started to get hard as he watched water cascade over Chloe’s bottom, and between the rosy folds of her—

“Whoa!”

The bathroom door caught fire as Clark lost control of his heat vision. Chloe spun around, screaming, as the door was reduced to ash.

“Clark! What're you doing?”

“Nothin’,” he mumbled, and rushed to get a broom and a dustpan.